Callings Cards from UK to Malaysia

Recently nearly all UK mobile companies have berkomplot-ed to drain poor Malaysian students of their already limited cash (cha-ching!) by introducing charges for various access numbers to call back home. This move has made the below things un-do-able:

• Bergayut with gf/bf
• Bersembang with member2, and worst for many of us
  
• Calling our parents/siblings/grandparents/cucu/cicit/cicak

OK! So the only direction to go is to allow ourselves to be 'scammed' by phone card dealers. Why scam? Here's just a few reasons :

Reason #1

Firstly, after being scammed into buying a phone card, we would obviously dial the number. Here's most likely what we'll hear.

"Welcome to Smiley-tel (they just love adding 'tel'), please enter your pin code."

teeeee-tee-tot-tee-tee-tee-tot-tot-tot (entering pin code, wasting 10 seconds of our lives)

"You have, £5. Please enter the number you wish to dial."

Eg. 006016 444 5555

"You have FIVE THOUSAND MINUTES."

NO KIDDING?? Whoaa!! £5 card give me 5000 minutes! so thats like 0.1p per minute! Smiley-tel rules bitches! All the other phone card dealers can GESAD (go eat shit and die).

*After talking for 10 minutes on the phone. Roughtly using £0.01. Or 1 pence ONLY.

"You have £4.50. Please enter the number you wish to dial."

WTFFF?? But you just fukin said 5000 minutes! How could 10 minutes be equivalent to 500 minutes?? Why you scamming piece of tahi lembu!!

Reason #2

Continuation from above story. So our Mutusamy is quite pasrah but at least he still can talk for 100 minutes instead of the 5000. 5 days later, Mutusamy calls home to his Letchumi.

"Welcome to Smiley-tel, please .... bla bla ... *Mutusamy enters pin code"
"You have, (a slight pause used for unsur saspens) £4. 30."

Now wait a f***ing minute! Didn't you just told me I had £4.50 5 days ago??? What the hell is going on? Did some ahlong Cina come and kutip 'protection money'?

Conclusion : Yes, phone card companies deduct you money for leaving it idle. Not all do that tho.

Reason #3

Mutusamy doesn't want to believe he got scammed by Smiley-tel. So fine, first you quote me wrong minutes, then you deduct my credit. Nevermind, orang sabar selalu [s]untung[/s] rugi. 4 weeks later, its valentine's day. So again, Mutusamy must uphold his family's honour and make sure he doesn't forget to wish his soon-to-be wife Happy Valentines.

"Again, Welcome to Smiley-tel, please .... bla bla ... *Mutusamy enters pin code"
"Sorry, this card has expired. Thank you. tutt-tutt-tutt-tutt (engaged sound"

Yes people, if you notice at the bottom right of the card written in font size 0.5, is some itsy-bitsy terms and conditions that state this card expires in 30 days. Tough luck! Who ask you to be so stoopid not to read the terms and conditions! Everyone reads them, RIGHT??

If you've wondering what happened to Mutusamy, he went to the nearest public toilet and .. GESAD™. Sad ending I know, but life's like that. Titanic agrees with me. Hero must die. Letchumi live on.